


i was dreaming and so lonely

by kkslover9



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternative Universe - Mundane, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Children, Grumpy Old Men, M/M, Vaguely Enemies to Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-07-29 00:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16252679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkslover9/pseuds/kkslover9
Summary: Jamie is a retired non-league footballer trying to work and coach and sort out his life after football. Xabi is a divorced university lecturer new to Liverpool from Spain. Stevie is the friend that forces their lives to intersect. What's that saying? That all good things must come to an end? Well, they've also got to come to a beginning.





	i was dreaming and so lonely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redandgold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redandgold/gifts).



> Thank you to my friends who encouraged me to keep writing. I would have never finished this without y'all.

Retiring from football had been something Jamie had dreaded though he had decided on it himself. The first year is torture. He hadn’t realized how few friends he had outside of football. Yes, there’s Stevie but that was it really. Stevie has a baby now and that means more time spent at home and less with Jamie. Sometimes he plays a bit of kick about with some of the guys who’d left before him, something like a reunion every once in a while. But his life has gone from practicing and playing to sitting at home watching Premier League replays. He joins a gym but he isn’t really cut out to be a gym bunny. A run around the park is a bit better but all he can do while running is think which is the opposite of what he wants. Stevie suggests that he join a Sunday League team but Jamie isn’t really interested. Leaving Bootle seemed something final, a true end to his footballing days. Maybe he was just being stubborn but he’ll stick by his decision even if he regrets it later.

The second year is just as bad as the first. 

“You look like shit,” Stevie says one evening when he’s managed to make it out for a pint.

Jamie’s surprised by that. He’s actually been getting a lot more sleep since he stopped playing football and he’s not been eating badly. “What the hell are you on about?”

“I just mean—” Stevie waves his hand vaguely, “It’s what Alex’ll say is the energy coming off you. It’s all sad. Mate, every time I look at you I’m worried you’re gonna go into some kind of depression.”

“Shut the fuck up. You sound like a right idiot.” Jamie shakes his head and takes a drink of his ale. 

Stevie sighs. “I’m serious. You need friends. Or a partner. Yeah. That’s it. Someone to give you a regular shag and improve your mood.” 

He’s grinning but Jamie scowls. Sometimes Stevie could be overly committed to the bullshit that left his mouth. “I’m fine on my own. A shag isn’t gonna make me any happier. Now drink your damn pint and talk like you’ve got some sense left.”

“You’re retired from football, Carra. You don’t have to be lonely.” Stevie’s no long smiling. Instead he looks concerned and it makes Jamie uncomfortable if he’s honest.

He recognises what Stevie is saying as the truth. He doesn’t need to pretend or hide now that he’s just working at the university but it’s ingrained in him and he’s not sure he’s ready to take that next step yet. He could probably explain that but instead he just avoids Stevie’s gaze and says, “I’m fine.”

The third year sees Jamie become coach for the first men’s football team. It’s something to do and it’s a chance to use that coaching qualification. 

The beginning of September is the beginning of the pre-season. Classes haven’t started yet but practice has. The boys are a good lot. They’re young so they act it but they seem to be excited about having Jamie coach them for the coming year. He was never a star but he knows his stuff and he’s ready to try transforming them into something in time for the start of the season.

He has plans to meet Stevie after practice for a pint but they’ve agreed to meet at the pub, so it’s a bit surprising when he sees him after practice. He’s standing on the edge of the pitch with someone. Jamie doesn’t know him and that makes him curious to the identity of Stevie’s new friend. They’re engrossed in conversation and don’t notice him when he approaches. Jamie observes the man. He’s their height with dark hair and wearing a suit. Stevie’s in his shirt, no tie or jacket but this guy is dressed up, shoes shining. He does remember Stevie mentioning a new faculty member in Sports Management. Maybe this is him.

The man notices him first and turns toward Jamie so that Stevie notices. Stevie grins and walks up to him. The new guy trails behind him, looking at Jamie curiously. He’s got a ginger beard and the kind of face that probably has all the ladies on the high street batting their eyes at him. A pretty boy.

“This is James Carragher. Everyone calls him Carra or Jamie. He’s Sports Development Officer over at uni. Jamie, this is Xabi Alonso, the new lecturer we’ve just got. I hope I said the name properly. I’ve only been practicing all day and me tongue still isn’t friends with the Spanish.” Stevie laughs and the guy, Xabi smiles softly and shrugs.

“This is England. I have to make due, I think?” Xabi smiles at Stevie and then looks Jamie straight in the eyes with a crooked smile. He holds out his hand for Jamie to take. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Jamie dislikes him immediately. He’s too good-looking and self-secure to be trustworthy. Stevie’s obviously taken a shine to him though if his wide smile is anything to go by. Stevie always was a sucker for a smooth fella. 

Even if he dislikes him, Jamie’s not rude. His mother taught him better than that and football taught him to be civil to people he didn’t give a rat’s arse about. He takes Xabi’s hand and shakes it firmly. He may not be rude but he had to let him know where things stood after all.

“I was just showing Xabi the grounds. He doesn’t really have any mates here so I thought he could come down to the pub with us, have pint or something.”

Stevie’s talking away but Jamie’s still eyeing Xabi who seems to have picked up on the fact that Jamie doesn’t trust him as far as he can throw him. He smiles at Jamie but it’s a crooked kind of cheeky smile. Jamie frowns instantly at it.

“Are you all right, Carra?” Xabi says smoothly.

Stevie hadn’t seemed to have noticed anything and he looks surprised now that Xabi’s said something. “What? Is something wrong?”

Yeah. Jamie definitely doesn’t like him. “Yeah. Fine, mate. Was remembering I forgot to tell one of the lads on the team about his shooting today.”

Stevie laughs. “Shooting? What’s a defender know about shooting?”

But Stevie’s the only one enjoying his joke to the fullest. Xabi is smiling and pointedly ignoring the glare that Jamie is giving him. If looks could kill, Jamie’s sure he would have already been arrested for murder.

 

Xabi’s come from San Sebastián in the Spanish Basque Country, home of Real Sociedad because football is the only language Jamie’s really got a handle on. Former Operations Manager at Anoeta Stadium and now lecturer at University of Liverpool, Jamie’s very interested in why someone would leave a job like that to come to Liverpool to teach. Xabi’s not giving anything away though.

“I thought it was time for a change,” he says with friendly but guarded smile. 

Jamie really wants to ask what kind of change, press a bit deeper but he knows that’s just him wanting unnecessarily needle Xabi so he lets Stevie take over with his understanding, enthusiastic plug for the city of Liverpool: beautiful football and beautiful ladies. 

“That’s only because you’ve got both. The Anfield season ticket and the beautiful wife,” Jamie says, poking a bit of fun at him fondly.

Stevie grins bashfully. 

“Wife? You did not tell me you were married,” Xabi says, probably glad to turn the conversation away from himself.

But Stevie loves Alex and Lilly and he has these ridiculous photos they took last Christmas on his phone that he’s always ready to pull out so Xabi gets a full evening of the Gerrard family. Xabi’s good at encouraging Stevie to share more information. Jamie drinks his pint and mostly watches Xabi grin and tell Stevie what a cute little girl Lilly is. There’s this look in his eye though, something like sadness. It’s only there for a moment but Jamie sees it and he’s drank just enough—he’s on the end of his second—that he feels just a bit emboldened.

“Do you have kids then?” Jamie says.

Xabi and Stevie stop talking. There’s still the din of the rest of the pub but the silence at the table is louder than all of it. Xabi freezes for the moment after the question. He stares at the table just a bit too long for any good answer to follow and finally Stevie’s empathy kicks in and he looks at Jamie with his forehead wrinkled and a worried look on his face. 

“Carra. That’s not—”

“Two,” Xabi says with a forced smile.

Jamie takes a long drink from his beer. He doesn’t want to admit that he feels a bit sorry that he’s clearly brought up some bad memories. Stevie gives Jamie a final frown and then turns back to Xabi with a smile. 

“Jon and Ane. They live with my wife—ex-wife in San Sebastián.”

Jamie cringes slightly as Xabi fumbles over the word wife before correcting himself. He feels like a proper arsehole and he knows he’s going to hear about what a bad person he’s been from Stevie tonight. It was Xabi’s fault though really. If he hadn’t have been born with that face and that general aura, maybe things would have been different. Jamie drinks the end his beer as Xabi tells Stevie about his children. It had been meant to be a dig at Xabi but now he feels the odd man out without any kids or spouses, current or former, and he feels it keenly.

It’s closing time by the time they leave. Jamie’s surprised Stevie’s stayed this long. He and Xabi live in the same direction. He’s not excited about taking the bus with Xabi so he walks Stevie to his stop.

“Why’d you have to be such a right arsehole in the pub?” Stevie says the moment they’ve seen Xabi off.

Jamie sighs. “I wasn’t. I just asked a question, didn’t I?”

“You knew what you were doing. I was trying to get you two to be friends for heaven’s sake.”

Jamie shrugs. It was too late to think about all that now really and he was definitely not apologising when all he’d done was ask a simple question. Stevie’s still talking though. About how he needs to be nicer the next time, which means that Stevie is going to be his friend. A real friend and not just a co-worker.

 

It takes Jamie four days to see Xabi again. He’s been thinking about the pub more than he should be and feeling a bit awful about it. Stevie swears that Xabi’s not avoiding them though. He’s just busy settling into life at the university. So when he sees Xabi come in to talk to their Operations Manager, he feels like he should apologise.

He waits for Xabi to finish. Xabi gives him a small smile as he goes to leave their office. Jamie gets up and rushes after him, calling out to him when he gets through the door.

Xabi stops and turns. He gives Jamie a smile when he reaches him. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop to talk. I have class starting soon.”

“This’ll only take a minute. I just wanted to apologise,” Jamie says. 

He watches Xabi’s forehead furrow slightly and his eyes narrow in confusion.

“Has something happened?” Xabi says, sounding concerned.

Jamie’s not sure whether Xabi honestly doesn’t know what he’s talking about or if he just doesn’t want to talk to him, but he’s committed to his apology now so it’s going to happen no matter what.

“I’m talking about that night in the pub. I shouldn’t’ve asked a question like that. I don’t always think enough before I open me mouth.”

Xabi chuckles. He looks exceptionally amused by Jamie’s apology. “Yes. Stevie told me that as well.”

“Course he did. Hope the rest of what he’s told you’s a bit better than that then.” 

“Well,” Xabi says tilting his head upwards in thought for a moment, “he did also say you were loyal and caring and, how did he put it, the best bloody friend he’s ever had.”

Jamie’s a bit embarrassed that Stevie’s been trying to make Xabi think well of him. He’s afraid he’ll start blushing soon so he does what he can to deflect it. He shakes his head. Xabi’s just put on this terrible Scouse accent as he repeats Stevie’s words. “I suggest you stick to the Spanish, mate,” Jamie says teasingly.

Xabi laughs, eyes closing just a moment before he transitions into a grin. “But thank you anyway. For the apology.”

Xabi’s also being very friendly and he’s still not sure yet whether he’s really ready to like him even if he’s going to try not to be unnecessarily nasty to him.

“I’m sorry I kept you back, by the way.”

“It’s fine. We should always have time for friends, no?” 

Jamie nods. They weren’t really friends after speaking twice, were they? Xabi’s smile softens as he says goodbye and leaves down the stairs instead of the elevator in the middle of the hallway. Well, Stevie would be excited to hear that he’s patched things up with Xabi at least even is he’s not sure he’s excited though it is a weight off his mind that he’s said he’s sorry. He heads back inside to his desk. He knows it won’t be long until he see Xabi again.

 

Xabi quickly becomes a permanent fixture in Jamie’s day to day. Stevie likes him a lot. Alex has already invited him to dinner and Lilly loves him apparently. Jamie’s not too sure what to do with it. The only time he seems to have Stevie to himself is when he makes it to Anfield with him sometimes or when Xabi’s busy. It’s ridiculous really. Jamie brings it up once when he’s over at Stevie’s sans Xabi. Alex has gone shopping with her girls so Stevie’s looking after Lilly and Jamie is looking after Stevie. 

“We’ve been spending a lot of time with Xabi, haven’t we,” Jamie says. 

Lilly is having fun watching Doc McStuffins. Stuffy’s playing with his pet Squibbles or something on the screen. Stevie’s paying a lot more attention than Jamie would have expected though there’s no way he’ll admit it if Jamie asks. 

“Yeah. He’s a good lad, Xabi. He’s settling in all right, I’ve heard. The students like his classes.”

That’s not exactly what Jamie had meant. “It’s not strange that he spends so much time with us?”

Stevie finally looks over at him with a confused look. “What are you on about?”

“Well—”Jamie’s trying to think of something that doesn’t make him sound like an absolute twat—“I don’t want to keep him from making other friends.”

Stevie rolls his eyes dramatically. “Says the bloke with one friend. You’d like him if you just gave him a chance you know. Stop trying to get under his skin all the time. He’s not gonna steal me away, J. I’ll always be here.”

Jamie grimaces at the sympathetic tone Stevie gets at the end. The last thing he needs is Stevie getting all helpful and trying to tell him how he can improve his life. He loves him to death but his happiness isn’t going to slot together as easily as his, no matter what Stevie thinks.

“Be happy you’ve got another friend. Now you’ve got twice as many people to listen to your bloody awful football analysis.” Stevie grins at him.

“Language,” Jamie says admonishingly with a glare tacked on. “If Alex heard you, she’d give you a right bollocking.”

“Oh come on. Lilly’s right there, man. If you’re gonna tell me off, at least do it without putting me in more danger.”

Jamie laughs, catching what he’s said while Stevie shakes his head with a smile. Lilly turns to look at what was causing all the noise and interrupting her show. The disapproval on her face just makes him laugh more.

 

If Jamie actually let’s himself be honest, which isn’t something he wants to do, Xabi isn’t that bad. He’s not bad at all really. Maybe that’s what’s so frustrating because his initial judgement was a bit (or totally) unfair. 

It’s almost the end of October. The football season is getting going and they’ve started off with two wins that they can hopefully add on to next week against the John Moores 2nd team. It’s Friday so they’re celebrating the weekend with a pint. 

“Alex wants me to take Lilly trick or treating. Says it’ll be fun but she doesn’t want to go herself so I’ve got to go,” Stevie says with a sigh.

Jamie shakes his head. “What were you gonna do instead that you can’t take your own daughter out for some sweeties?”

Stevie groans. “I can buy them at Tesco.”

“At least go to Waitrose,” Xabi says, swirling his glass. He’s drinking wine tonight instead of beer.

Jamie laughs. “Yeah. Get her something nice at least, mate.”

“Oh now you get along. To take the piss outta me. Come on and go with me then. You can put on the fancy dress and go door to door with Lilly. I’m sure she’d love that.”

Jamie takes a sip of his beer. “And ruin your quality time with your little girl? No thanks, mate.”

“It sounds fun though,” Xabi says. He’s got this slightly nostalgic look in his eyes and Jamie feels a bit sad for him being so far from his own kids.

“Come on, Jamie. Xabi’s got the right idea,” Stevie says, nudging him in the arm. 

Jamie sighs. He’s got two grown men looking at him pleadingly to go trick or treating with a three year old. They’re really shameless. 

“Yeah, all right then,” he says reluctantly.

Stevie beams. “You should dress as a knight. We all should. She’s gonna be Princess Sofia so it’ll be like a theme.”

Jamie just listens. He does love Lilly though. She’s a sweet girl so if he’s doing this for anyone it’s going to be her, definitely not the two sitting next to him.

 

Halloween isn’t as bad as he expects. He’d heard that it was getting more popular with kids these days but he’d never actually seen it. He’s got the same shitty medieval knight fancy dress costume from Smiffy’s as Stevie so he doesn’t feel bad about not having tried very hard. That’s until Xabi arrives. He’s got a leather cuirass and fake but not awful looking chainmail and boots. There’s even a leather helmet under his arm. Stevie and he both stare a bit shocked as Lilly runs up to him in her purple dress and tiara. 

“Uncle Xabi!” Lilly stops in front of him, staring up in as much awe as Jamie though for an entirely different reason. “Are you here to keep me safe?”

Xabi kneels down and bows his head. “Of course, Princesa.”

Lilly wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly. 

“Well, he’s certainly putting you two to shame,” Alex says from behind them.

Jamie hadn’t even realised she’d been standing there. She passes by them as Xabi stands, lifting Lilly with him as she’s still latched onto his neck. She hands Lilly a bag for her sweets and gives her a kiss on the cheek. 

“Now off you go and have fun. Don’t keep her out too long.” Alex shoos them out of the house, giving Stevie a kiss as he leaves.

The sun is almost fully set now. Xabi carries Lilly for a while as they walk down the street until she decides she’d rather walk herself. Stevie and Jamie trail behind. She’s clearly obsessed with Xabi at the moment and Xabi seems to want to dote on her. They try to get her to walk with Stevie for a while but she just looks at him and shakes her head. Xabi looks apologetic and Stevie shrugs resigned. 

“Are you still happy you invited us?” Jamie asks.

They’ve finished a few houses by now and Stevie’s had to stop Lilly from starting to eat her candy at least a dozen times. Alex was very clear with them earlier that Lilly wasn’t to eat anything until she could inspect it at home. 

“I am, yeah. Wouldn’t have got her to moon over me like that. She’d probably want to go back by now and it’s only been twenty minutes. She wants to show that she’s a good little princess for her Uncle Xabi.” Stevie chuckles and smiles at the two ahead of them.

Jamie looks as well. Lilly asks if Xabi has ever met a real princess and Xabi replies that he hasn’t but he has a friend who met the Princess Leonor when she attended her first football game a year ago. Lilly seems very impressed by this news. Xabi seems to really like her and it’s sweet. Dare he admit that Xabi looks cute walking up to houses with her and lifting her up so she can get sweets in her bag? It’s not too painful to admit. Children can make most things cute. His mind starts to drift to how he’s probably missed the chance to have children of his own. Xabi and Stevie both have that experience and seem the happier for it.

“Listen to Uncle Xabi, Lilly,” Stevie says as she tries to dig in her bag.

Jamie lets out a deep breath and pushes the thoughts away. It wasn’t the time to be depressed over things he couldn’t change. 

 

November brings Xabi’s birthday. Jamie doesn’t really know what to get him as a gift. They’ve been getting along better but Jamie still like pushing his buttons every now and then. The look of exasperation Stevie always gets when they argue about insignificant things is fun as well. All of that still doesn’t mean he knows what Xabi wants as a gift. He likes football and he’s fashionable and intelligent but that information can’t help him pick something. He ends up going with a bottle of good wine. Xabi drinks red. That much he does know.

They have dinner at Stevie’s with Alex. Lilly’s asleep by the time they eat but she does give Xabi a handmade card before bed. It’s pink and got hearts everywhere coloured in with a rainbow assortment of crayons. Xabi looks thrilled to receive it and Lilly looks immensely proud to have made it.

They enjoy some wine and a small cake after the meal. Xabi’s eyes go a little red like he’s about to cry but he manages to hold it back, just thanks them instead. It can’t have been easy to come to a city where he had no real friends and leave his family behind. It’s really a hell of a fresh start, Jamie thinks. 

So maybe he is starting to like Xabi. He’s a good lad as Stevie likes to say. So by the time Christmas rolls around and unis off on holiday, Jamie’s accustomed to spending time with him. It’s usually in Stevie’s company but they do share the same bus home and walk a few minutes together after until they part at Xabi’s flat. They never talk much then. If they do, it’s about Stevie and Lilly or sometimes the recent football results. It’s become normal for Jamie to see him most days at lunch. That’s probably why he finds himself surprisingly missing it during the holidays.

Xabi goes back to San Sebastián. Jamie spends a lot of time with his family at this time of year but he’s still on his own. It’s back to just Stevie then though he’s busy visiting both his family and Alex’s family. Jamie’s invited to the former visits as well because Stevie’s mum loves him but he can’t bring himself to impose all the time. He shops for gifts by himself in Liverpool ONE. Although it’s packed with people, it feels a bit lonely to be walking around by himself but choosing gifts is an adequate distraction. He sees a pair of LFC cufflinks and his immediate thought is that it would be a fun gift for Xabi. He’s not sure if Xabi’s planning on gifting him anything. They hadn’t decided anything among the three of them though he always gets Stevie a gift. He buys them anyway and gets them wrapped. 

Christmas turns out to be good fun. Everyone’s at his mum and dad’s this year so he’s busy running around after the children. His mum gets him a new vacuum cleaner as his gift. She doesn’t think the one he has now does a good enough job. It’s so practical and very much a parents’ gift. He might not have kids and a partner to spend his time with but at least he has relatives.

 

Jamie starts work a week before exams. Stevie comes in early to plan since Lilly won’t leave him alone at home. Jamie takes the opportunity to leave his gift on Xabi’s desk. He’s due to come back that weekend and Jamie won’t see it until Monday but he doesn’t fancy giving it in person.

Stevie smiles when Jamie places it on Xabi’s desk. “Glad to see you’re finally friends.”

Jamie shrugs. “It’s just a silly something I saw and I thought it’d be a good laugh.” He’s not completely sure why he’s deflecting Stevie’s assessment. There’s not really a reason. It just comes out of his mouth.

Stevie just shakes his head and goes back to finishing planning his exam.

On Monday, Jamie comes in a bit late. Xabi is sitting in his seat when he gets to the office. He swivels in the chair and stands when he sees Jamie. 

“What are you doing here? If you need something, you didn’t have to wait, you know. I know you lecturers are busy with the exams and all that important stuff.” Jamie puts his bag down on his desk.

Xabi chuckles. He looks happy and refreshed. He’s just spent the better part of a month in Spain, probably with his kids, so it’s no wonder. 

“I don’t need anything, Carra. I wanted to say thank you for my gift. It was a kind thought.”

“Well, you could do with some more Liverpool Football Club in your life is all. Though everyone could always do with more of that,” Jamie says with a satisfied nod. He’s pleased that Xabi liked the gift even though it hadn’t been anything spectacular or particularly thoughtful.

Xabi pushes a thin box across the desk towards Jamie. “I brought you something.”

It’s just a brown box, nothing special. He looks at Xabi curiously before he opens it. Inside is a wide black beret. He takes it out and turns it over in his hands.

“It’s a txapel. A Basque beret. We are very famous for it. I thought you might like something from my home since you’ve helped me settle into yours.” Xabi smiles at him.

Jamie can’t help but smile back. He’s sure Xabi doesn’t mean for him to wear it. He’ll look ridiculous. But he’s sure he can find a space to put it to decorate the flat. 

“Thank you,” Jamie says. 

Xabi nods and touches Jamie’s shoulder lightly. “You’re welcome.”

Jamie watches him leave the office and then sits in his chair. He looks at the hat once more and then puts it back in the box. It’s a strange thing to think that Xabi probably thought about him while he was in Spain. Maybe he even mentioned him in conversation, maybe as a friend. Strange but not unpleasant.

 

Jamie has his fortieth birthday party at his mum and dad’s house. His mum insisted on the big party. It’s not every day you turn forty, she reminded him. Everyone’s there. His family: aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters-in-law, cousins, the lot, with Stevie, Alex, Lilly and Xabi rounding it off. He doesn’t really want any of his more casual friends there so he doesn’t invite them. (Xabi’s apparently worked himself out of that category.)

There’s cake and ice cream and games both for the kids and adults. There’s so many gifts that he’s worried whether they’ll fit in the car to take to his flat. But it is fun. Lilly enjoys playing with the other young kids and everyone loves Stevie and Alex and treat them like family. He actually worries about Xabi a bit since he doesn’t know anyone. He tries to save him when his cousin who likes to practice her Spanish corners him. Jamie manages to extract him but gets pulled away right after. Xabi just smiles and tells him to enjoy his party. Jamie just wants everyone to have a good time. It’s just too bad he can’t be in twenty-eight places at the same time.

Xabi arrived with Stevie so when Alex finally decides she absolutely has to get an already sleeping Lilly to bed, it’s time for all four of them to leave.

Stevie goes to bring round the car as they stand in front of the house. Jamie smiles at Alex who holds Lilly as they waits. Xabi on his other side doesn’t look quite as serene with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders raised toward his neck as though that will make him warmer. 

“Are you ok, mate?” Jamie says. He wonders whether he should go inside and get Xabi another scarf for extra warmth. 

Xabi turns to him seemingly surprised that he’s been spoken to. He nods. “I’m fine. I’m just—I don’t like the cold. It’s not colder than San Sebastián really. I am simply not good with the cold.”

And then he turns back to watching the road and frowns. 

Suddenly it’s in Jamie’s mind that he would like to warm him up. There’s nothing poetic about the revelation though it definitely seems like the kind of thing a poet would write about: the realisation that you’re attracted to someone. That would be when they would pull out the flowery language and describe their feelings and the person inspiring them. He can’t deny that Xabi looks good as usual in his slim fitting coat and chunky scarf wrapped tightly around his neck but that’s nothing new to Jamie. The thoughts that enter his head aren’t quite as romantic as required for poetry. They’re carnal. He wants to see if Xabi will run hot, naked and underneath him. 

It’s quite a startling thought because it comes on so unexpectedly. Sure he’s gone from not liking Xabi to not minding him and maybe even liking him a bit but this hadn’t been expected. Xabi takes a tube of carmex out his pocket and rubs it over his lips. Jamie thinks he really wants to kiss him, run his hands into that coat and under his jumper then lower. Fuck. He didn’t feel that drunk.

He takes a deep breath in and forces his eyes away from Xabi’s back to Alex who’s watching him. There’s no way she could see his thoughts. Alex wasn’t a mind reader even if she was exceptionally perceptive at times. 

“Finally,” Xabi says with relief.

Jamie and Alex both look to the street where Stevie’s just pulled up to the front. 

“Enjoy the rest of your night,” Alex says.

Jamie gives her a hug, carefully so that he doesn’t wake up Lilly. “See you soon, yeah?”

“Next time we need a babysitter I’ll be calling you.” She grins and then goes off towards the car.

Jamie follows her with Xabi beside him. He glances over and immediately remembers what he’d been thinking just a minute ago. It’s such a futile thought with Xabi being straight and everything but he can’t shake it.

“Happy Birthday, Carra,” Xabi says when they reach the car. “Try not to drink too much more. Tomorrow is Monday you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jamie shakes his head at Xabi’s crooked smile. What would he taste like? 

Xabi goes round to the other side of the car and gets in the back seat. Alex gets in the front next to Stevie and her window goes down to that Jamie can bend down to tell them a final goodbye.

Stevie gives him a wave. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Get home safe,” Jamie says. He stands up straight once more and watches as Stevie puts up the window and drives off.

 

The Mad Bear as a pub isn’t exactly impressive but it’s got a reputation as a bit divey and a good place for meeting men. Jamie’s been there once and the reputation is in fact pretty spot on. He’d never made a habit of it. He had been trying his best to be discreet. It wouldn’t have done to make himself known in that kind of space. The first time had been an experience. Jamie hasn’t woken up next to many men in his life. He doesn’t make a habit of staying long enough for that. But the morning after his first visit to The Mad Bear had been that kind of time. For just a moment, Jamie had felt like the sort of person who could go around being himself and not pretend to be something that he wasn’t.

Somehow Jamie’s managed to convince himself that it’s a good idea to have a pint there. Stevie’s gone home to Alex and Jamie’s still thinking about the way Xabi licked sauce off of his mouth at lunch. It’s frustrating. It’s not that he hasn’t desired men before. Oh, he’s definitely done that. Maybe it’s the lack of football to occupy him that has him thinking about it more than usual. He likes to ignore the fact that he’s in his third year of football retirement.

He sits at a table in the back. There’s space at the bar and the tables nearer the centre of the pub but he’s still in the habit of being out of the way. It still makes him a bit nervous but he’s just a regular old man working at a uni now who happened to play in the ninth tier of English football, which means it’s highly unlikely that anyone cares about him except for Stevie and his mum. 

His pint is about halfway when he decides that this is probably a bad idea and that he’ll leave when he’s done. He takes another sip and his eyes meet those of a guy ordering a drink at the bar. He’s clearly much younger, probably still in his twenties but he holds Jamie’s gaze and smiles until he gets served and comes straight over to Jamie’s table. 

“Is here taken?” the guy says with a kind of lopsided smile, hand resting on the back of the chair across from Jamie.

There are still other tables free so Jamie fully understands what this is about. 

“Go ahead,” Jamie says.

The guy sits and watches Jamie intently. He’s good looking. Dark hair and eyes and an accent that sounds like it’s French. 

“I haven’t seen you here before.”

Jamie smiles slightly at that. It’s such a basic line but he’s not completely turned off by it. “I don’t come here often.”

The guy grins probably realising that Jamie’s not forcing him away. What follows isn’t so much a conversation as the guy talking and Jamie listening about his move from France (some small town that Jamie doesn’t quite understand) to work in Liverpool. He talks a lot but Jamie’s not a stranger to people who say more than they should. Besides, the guy is a bit on the gorgeous side so Jamie wouldn’t mind shutting him up, preferably with his cock. 

“Listen,” Jamie says at a slight break in the speech, “You want to go somewhere else?”

He stops trying to continue talking and looks at Jamie with a coquettish look. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

Jamie breaths out a soft laugh. That’s definitely the most clichéd line he’s hear in a while. Even worse than the attempt earlier. Jamie feels a bit committed now though. He’s already thought about fucking him so he might as well and it doesn’t mean he ever has to see him again.

“I’m James, by the way,” he says as they stand.

The guy runs a hand through his hair and it’s obvious that he knows he looks good while he does it. 

“Xavier,” he says.

It’s said with a French accent but Jamie understands enough of it. He stares dumbfounded for a moment. What are the fucking chances of that? This was a bloody hell of a coincidence. 

“Are you ready?” Xavier says with a playful grin.

Jamie hesitates. He’s got a feeling this is a bad decision, sleeping with someone with a name similar to the person you’re trying not to think about. No matter how freakish the coincidence though, it is just that. He hadn’t gone out searching for someone with a similar name. So he forces himself to nod and follows Xavier outside.

 

As expected, fucking someone named Xavier to take your mind of someone named Xabier doesn’t quite work. If anything it makes things worse despite (or because of) the sex being unmemorable. The first team also haven’t won in six games and they’re on the brink of relegation to the 3A. He really doesn’t have time to be fantasising about Xabi as they eat lunch or sit in the pub after work for a pint. It doesn’t seem to want to go away no matter how much he wants it to. They’re friends and that’s it. Xabi’s most likely not even interested if he even liked men at all. Jamie goes home and takes solace in Liverpool Football Club and the continuation of a good Champion’s League run. At least there was one thing to look forward to.

 

Xabi and Stevie share an office with another lecturer but she’s out today so Jamie’s joined them for lunch there. Jamie’s got a sandwich from the canteen. Stevie’s got a sandwich as well because he’s not exactly good in the kitchen but he tries to seem self-sufficient when Alex is away and Xabi’s got what looks like leftovers that he probably cooked himself, the bloody perfect man. 

Jamie’s really fed up of these impulses he has when it comes to Xabi. Kiss him, his mind will say which is an absolutely ridiculous idea no matter the situation. And it’s devolved a bit further recently. He can just manage wanting to bed Xabi. That’s a bit normal he thinks. Xabi is good-looking. He sure most of the other lecturers inclined to the male form wouldn’t mind a go. Probably quite a few students as well. But then sometimes he thinks it might be nice to just sit with him and have dinner just the two of them or sit watching football together, maybe with a bit of handholding. Jamie figures it’s because he’s never had the chance to actually do these things. It’s probably some sort of repression trying to get free. He’ll be glad when he’s over it.

He’s in the habit of distracting himself and nothing is better for that than football. It’s always a good time to heap praise on his beloved Liverpool. 

“Five-one on aggregate against City. We can win it, I think. You know not that I didn’t believe it before, I just seems a bit more possible now. Six times. I can’t wait to say that.”

Stevie grins. “It’ll be Paris down to Kiev soon. I can’t fucking wait.”

Xabi just sits there with a bit of a smile on his face, sipping his fucking tea like he’s amused. Jamie can’t stand it. He should probably have learned better by now—he’s fucking forty—but he’s still perpetuating some strange meanness to the one you like cliché as if taking the piss out of Xabi is going to stop him wanting to shag him. He can’t help it and if that means he’s got the maturity of a five year old then that’s just it, isn’t it?

“Oi, Xabi. I know you Spaniards think highly of yourselves. But I don’t think you can call La Liga the best in the world when Barcelona is crashing out after going into the second game three goals up. That’s a bit embarrassing that is. Besides it’s not even a competitive league anymore. When’s the last time a team that wasn’t Madrid or Barcelona won?”

Xabi puts down his tea cup and raises his eyes to Jamie’s, lips pursed slightly though he’s still smiling. It bothers Jamie but only because there’s something mischievous about it that’s very hot. Thank goodness Stevie’s here with them because Jamie might do something unthinkable.

Xabi stares at Jamie for a moment and then he chuckles. “Carra. You know you have the option to not vomit out these words that make no sense, yes?”

Stevie lets out a bark of laughter. “He’s got you there, mate.”

“You know I’m telling the truth,” Jamie says.

Xabi smiles condescendingly. It’s clear he thinks Jamie is spouting nonsense. “I think you forget that Spain has won the most Champions Leagues of any country.”

“That’s still just Real Madrid and Barcelona, isn’t it? A bit boring that,” Jamie says with a smirk. 

“Oh come off it, you two,” Stevie says sounding exasperated. “I know this’ll be endless if I don’t stop it now. I never expected Xabi to be one for silly tiffs but here I am in the middle two giant kiddies.”

“Steven, I have seen you playing with Lilly’s toys while she’s asleep,” Xabi says seriously.

Jamie bursts out laughing as Stevie’s face falls. 

“I was just having a go at what she likes. Not so bad them blocks.”

Jamie can’t stop laughing. He’s trying to stop but Stevie’s slightly sulking face at the admission is too much for him. Xabi shoots him a small, pleased smile. The bit of yearning that Jamie feels when their eyes meet helps sober him quickly. He’s still smiling and a little breathless but his mind is racing trying to do damage control to force down any silly hopeful thoughts of affection on Xabi’s end. 

Stevie stands abruptly. A welcome interruption for Jamie from his mind. 

“I’ve got to lecture. You can go back to your quarrel now. Learned my lesson, I have.” Stevie starts gathering his notebook and bag.

Jamie grins. “These two kiddies’ll see their baby brother later then. Do you need me to change your nappy before you go?” 

Stevie scowls. “All right. All right. Have your laugh. I hope you have as much fun when you’re on this end of it the next time.”

Xabi is smiling so Jamie is trying his best not to be distracted by it as he waves Stevie out the door to the office. The noise from the hall rushes into the room when the door opens. 

“Have a good lecture, hermanito,” Xabi says as Stevie exits the room.

The door closes slowly until it clicks shut so that the room is quiet once more. Xabi stands and pulls his chair back to his desk across from Stevie’s.

Jamie follows suit and returns his chair to its desk. “I should get back.”

“I know I do not need to tell you, but I hope you do not share this opinion earlier with anyone else. You should only let your friends see you at your most ridiculous.”

Xabi’s still turned toward his desk. Jamie knows he’s probably got that stupid smirk on his face though. He approaches Xabi and leans next to him on the desk. 

“I know you’re miffed that I’m right but you should learn to accept when you’re wrong. Isn’t that a gentleman’s way?”

Xabi chuckles, turning towards Jamie with a curious look on his face. “When have I said I was a gentleman? I am realising that I should not argue with those that have no common sense though. Perhaps you have headed the ball too many times.”

Xabi steps forward and reaches out to touch Jamie’s forehead lightly with a finger as he speaks. Jamie instinctively grabs Xabi’s wrist before he can pull his hand away. Xabi’s clearly surprised. His eyes go wide for a moment with his lips parted. Jamie knows he should let him go now. It’s just that Xabi’s quite close and Jamie’s considering how ridiculous, on a scale of one to ten, it would be to kiss him at the very moment. A ten. Definitely a ten. 

“Carra.” 

The voice, the low tone, the softness of it, sends a shiver though Jamie. Xabi hasn’t tried to pull away. They’re just looking at each and Jamie doesn’t want to say it’s tension, but it feels like tension of a distinctly wanting kind between them.

Xabi steps even closer—What—his hand comes up to rest at the back of Jamie’s neck—the—Xabi leans in and kisses him—fuck? 

It’s just a touching of lips but Jamie feels like he’s been struck by lightning. Xabi starts to pull back but Jamie stops him with a hand around his waist pressing their mouths back together. The kiss deepens quickly. Xabi parts his lips and Jamie finds his tongue between them and into the warmth of Xabi’s mouth. He turns them so that he’s pressing Xabi back into the desk. Xabi grips the shirt at his shoulder tightly. Jamie tightens his grip, not caring that he’s probably wrinkling Xabi’s shirt.

Xabi tastes like tea. Bitter. But Jamie can’t have enough. He’s been dreaming about it, the slide of Xabi’s tongue against his own and the heat of Xabi’s body against his. There’s clothes between them but he’ll take what he can get right now. Xabi moans and it’s probably the most gorgeous sound Jamie has ever heard. It makes him as heady as the cheering of the fans in the stadium when they score. He needs to hear it again. God. He wishes he could get Xabi naked right now so he could taste him more.

A knock at the door cuts straight through Jamie’s lust. He lets go of Xabi quickly and stumbles backwards. Xabi stares at him a bit dazed and rumpled. Jamie tries to force himself to catch his breath. Bloody hell. What did he think he was doing kissing Xabi in an unlocked room where anyone could come in and see them? 

The knock comes again.

“Just a moment,” Xabi says. He doesn’t sound shaken at all. “I have to meet a student now,” he says to Jamie.

Jamie nods. He’s not sure what to say. What do you say to the man you’ve been yearning after when you’ve finally kissed him? Did it even mean anything?

“I’ll go,” Jamie says. It’s all he can really muster up. He walks to the door as Xabi neatens his clothes. He hopes he doesn’t look like too much of a mess himself.

Xabi is suddenly behind him. “I’ll see you later?”

Jamie stops and turns to face him. He looks a bit unsure as though he thinks Jamie is going to run away after a kiss like that. Jamie’s not always the sharpest tool in the shed but he wants to do this again, hopefully in an extended version where there’s no chance of interruption.

“Yeah.”

Xabi smiles, his eyes brightening. Jamie wants to kiss him again but he knows he should leave. Xabi hesitates. When he moves, Jamie wonders whether he’s thinking the same thing but instead of a kiss, he moves past Jamie to open the door.

“Have a good day,” Xabi says.

Jamie nods and then leaves past the student who’s waiting just outside the door.

To say that he’s a bit distracted for the rest of the day would be an understatement. He’s not sure what the kiss meant or how Xabi feels about it or even what he wants from Xabi. Football had always made it easy to ignore that he might want something more than a one night stand. Considering that his last relationship of sorts was with a woman nearly twenty years ago, he has no idea how to proceed. Did he even want a relationship or did he just want sex?

The boys have a game tomorrow which means that Jamie can concentrate on practice in the evening. Football to the rescue yet again. It’s a big game against the John Moores’ first team so the boys are a bit nervous. They run through some drills. They’re going to have to play their best if they want a win but Jamie thinks they can do it especially if they have a little luck on their side.

Halfway through practice Jamie notices that someone’s watching. It looks like Xabi but Jamie half expects that he’s dreaming. The person is wearing a coat that looks like Xabi’s and he’s carrying a briefcase. Jamie switches them to another drill and then jogs over to the south end of the pitch. 

It is Xabi to Jamie’s surprise. He hadn’t expected to see him just yet. 

“Hello,” Xabi says when Jamie gets close. He’s smiling. Jamie likes it when he smiles.

“What are you doing here?” Jamie puts his hands in his pockets for something to do.

“I thought I would see how the team gets ready for this game.”

Xabi sounds so calm and Jamie feels anything but as he talks to him though he’s determined to try and seem relaxed. 

“Well, we’re going in soon. Discuss some tactics and all that and then it’s an early night for them, hopefully. If they really want to win anyway.”

“Should I wait for you?” Xabi says.

Jamie shakes his head. He imagines it would be nice to spend some time with Xabi. Stevie’s usually there as well so it’s not often they’re alone. But he doesn’t want to put Xabi out. It’s cold and he’s already seen that Xabi’s not exactly the biggest fan of the weather.

“You don’t need to wait for me. You should get yourself home where it’s warm.”

Xabi chuckles. “I’m sorry. I misspoke. I meant is it ok if I wait for you?”

Jamie’s lost for words initially but he remembers that questions require answers and he scrambles from one. “If you don’t mind.”

He watches Xabi’s smile widen. He’s really losing all sense. He’s never expected that at this age he could be the type of person who freezes up when it comes to liking someone but here he is. 

“Thank you. You should go finish your training now.”

“Yeah.” Jamie nods in agreement and takes a few steps back. “I’ll see you in a while.”

He turns before he can change his mind and goes back to the team. It makes him self-conscious to know that Xabi is watching but he makes it through until it’s time to go into the dressing room. The boys seem fired up. They listen well and look interested. They really have a chance.

Jamie’s last to leave because he has to lock up. He wonders if Xabi’s gotten tired of waiting and gone home already but he’s there leaning against the wall when Jamie comes out. 

He locks the door behind him and turns to Xabi. “You ready then?”

Xabi pushes off the wall and comes over to him. They begin walking. 

“Do you think they’re ready for tomorrow?” Xabi says when they’ve made it onto the road.

Jamie glances over. Xabi’s watching ahead. Jamie wants to admire his profile under the glow of the street lights but he knows that will probably end in him face first into the pavement. He turns his face forward.

“They should be. They’re hungry for the win. I can tell. So they’ve got a chance.” 

They manage to avoid talking about the kiss somehow. Jamie’s not sure whether he should bring it up but Xabi doesn’t seem to have any intention of discussing it. He leaves it alone then. A lot of their conversation centres on Stevie. It makes sense since they all usually spend time together. Jamie finds himself feeling a bit jealous though. Stevie’s a great lad and Jamie thinks he would be more Xabi’s type somehow. 

The bus takes them up to the top of Sefton Park so that they can walk down. From this direction, Jamie lives further than Xabi but he can leave Xabi in front of his flat building. 

“Do you want to come in?” Xabi says when they reach the front of his building. “I know you’re busy tomorrow but maybe you can have a tea to warm you up for the rest of the way.”

He doesn’t know what will happen if he accepts the invitation but he’d like to find out. There’s a street light shining down on them and he can see the red of Xabi’s cheeks from the cold. A chance to warm them sounds appealing.

“Yeah. All right.” 

Xabi smiles and leads him to the door. He lives in the ground floor flat. Jamie’s never actually been in inside although they’ve walked this way a few times before. It’s a two bedroom flat. He follows Xabi’s lead and puts his coat and scarf on the hooks next to the door. All the coats hanging there are fashionable. Not like anything Jamie’s ever thought of buying. 

They go past what seems to be the living room and into the kitchen. Xabi fills some water in a stove top kettle and puts it on a burner to boil. Jamie doesn’t know anyone who doesn’t use an electric kettle, but seeing Xabi use a good old fashioned kettle seems unsurprising. Xabi gets out two teacups and places two teabags inside. At least it’s not tea leaves. 

“You can sit down in the living room if you’d like,” Xabi says, gesturing to the door leading back into the previous room.

“That’s all right. I’ll wait.”

Xabi takes the milk out of the fridge and then waits facing Jamie. 

They’re in private now so Jamie feels like this might be a good idea to talk about what they’ve seemed to be avoiding. He takes a slow deep breath and exhales to gather himself.

“What did you kiss me for today?” Jamie says.

Xabi’s eyes meet his for a moment and then Xabi looks away and then back to him. “You looked like you wanted me to kiss you.”

He says it like it’s just a simple reason and Jamie supposes that it is. He’s not sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, Xabi hadn’t actually said that he hadn’t wanted to kiss him or that he hadn’t liked the kiss. And did he need a more substantial reason?

“And did you just invite me here for tea?” 

Xabi smiles. It’s slight. “Do you want something else?”

Jamie approaches him slowly. Xabi doesn’t move. He stays very still. Jamie brings his hands up to cup Xabi’s face. Xabi’s lips part and Jamie kisses him. Xabi’s lips are a bit dry from outside but it makes Jamie feel the same as earlier. Jamie’s hands move down from Xabi’s face to his hips. Xabi pulls him in closer by the back of his head, pressing their lips harder together. Perhaps he’s moving a bit quickly but he cam resist pulling up Xabi’s jumper and shirt so that he can push his hand underneath. Xabi lifts his arms so that Jamie can pull the jumper over his head and then begins unbuttoning the shirt. Jamie helps him as they kiss. 

Xabi shrugs off his shirt letting it fall to the ground. Jamie’s lips leave Xabi’s mouth and make their way down to his neck. He licks a line up to his ear and sucks on the lobe. He wants to taste as much as he can. 

The kettle whistles. It's loud and jarring but neither of them make a move to stop it. Tea isn't quite necessary now.

“We should go inside,” Xabi says, starting to breathe a little harder. 

Jamie pulls away. The look in Xabi’s eyes is lustful. Just the knowledge that he wants Jamie as much as Jamie wants him turns Jamie on. Xabi quickly turns off the stove and pushes the kettle onto a cold burner then takes a firm hold of Jamie’s hand and pulls him out of the kitchen. 

 

The team ends up winning two-one. Their offense manages to break through and their defence keeps its shape well to thwart the John Moores’ attack. It’s barely though. John Moores has more than a comfortable amount of good chances. Thankfully in football the only stat that matters is the goals scored.

The boys are elated. No one even considers them in the same league as the John Moores first team but they've managed to beat them in the Varsity. It's a good feeling for Jamie to see the team he's been entrusted doing well and being confident in themselves. They invite him to celebrate with them after the Varsity awards and bit of clean-up and the admin he's got to take care of but he knows it's just politeness. They don't actually want their coach with them. Besides he's already got a text from Stevie telling him that he and Xabi will wait for him in the pub until he's done.

Jamie finishes up after most everyone's gone. Since he's had a coaching responsibility, the remaining event staff let him leave a bit early because they got a good turnout of volunteers this year.

He's pretty exhausted by the time he hits the pub. The Varsity main day is always hectic and he's had to balance his coaching duties as well. He spots Stevie and Xabi at a table against the wall so he gets a pint and then heads over.

“Finally,” Stevie says throwing his hands up, “Was beginning to think you’d died.”

Jamie drops down into a seat and takes a deep drink. “Lucky they let me go early then.”

Stevie grins. “Good job by the way! It was a good game. You can be proud of them.”

“Yes. Congratulations, Carra,” Xabi says.

“They played well today. I’m really happy with it.” He nods and takes another sip, finally taking a proper look at Xabi over the glass.

It feels a bit silly to be nervous. It hadn't been as awkward as he would have expected when he woke up naked in Xabi’s bed. There was something exceptionally intimate about seeing Xabi, nude with his eyes still full of sleep and hair a mess lying next to him. He can't get it out of his mind. And then there's the way Xabi had kissed him sweetly as he had left. He wonders what Xabi thinks of it all.

“You’ve got Christie in a week, don't you?” Stevie says.

It fortunately pulls Jamie out of his thoughts before they get any deeper.

They talk about football for a while. Jamie's boys and then the Champion’s League and the winding down of the Premier League. They drink a few rounds before they decide it's a good idea to head out. There is work in the morning after all.

He and Xabi see Stevie off and then catch their bus. The journey is quiet. Their eyes meet every so often and Xabi always smiles as him. They’re holding on to the same pole and they get jostled into each other as the bus move and stops. It's almost as though they're alone even though there are people all around them. Jamie finds it hard to think about anything but Xabi. Thoughts of Xabi underneath him gripping the sheets, eyes closed as Jamie fucks him. What he wouldn't give to see that again.

They get off the bus and start their walk.

“You must be tired after such a long day,” Xabi says.

There's a bit of an inflection at the end as though it's slightly a question.

“A bit. Yeah,” Jamie says slowly. He's not sure whether Xabi is asking something else entirely or just stating a possibility.

They're quiet again. The street is silent now that they're on a residential road. They pass a woman walking up the opposite side of the street but that's the only life outside other than them. They reach Xabi's flat in what seems like record time. Jamie would like to spend more time with him but he's not sure that's something Xabi wants.

They stop in front of the walk up to the door. There's a moment of silence as they look at each other. Xabi doesn't say anything so Jamie takes a step back to leave.

“Have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow probably as long as I wake up after today.” He offers Xabi a lopsided smile. 

Xabi returns it with a small smile of his own.

“Carra,” Xabi says just as Jamie is turning to leave.

He turns back around and waits for Xabi to continue.

“I know you're tired, but did you want to come inside?”

Jamie steps forward and nods. “Yeah.”

Xabi smiles wider and then turns and walks up to the door, taking his keys out of his bag. Jamie follows, wondering what the night and indeed the future will bring.


End file.
